It's so simple...but goddamn impossible

Time I got something off my chest:  lofty words and ideologies are best suited for reminiscing - in the immediate we are too busy making mistakes.

I didn't get where I am by believing in myself.  Quite the contrary, actually.  But self-loathing will only take you so far, and I'm ready to take it to the next level. 

Setting your standards beyond your ability is destructive.  Essentially so.

It's all part of the Great Negation embraced by any drug addict.  When you are not yourself you are juxtaposed to your own Being - and any easy way out is welcome.  Blacking out becomes easy enough when you are tired of being awake.

I've seen beautiful perspectives pushing things.  But elevation is reciprocated.  What goes up comes down and the descent is proportional.  Essentially I've been on tour since I was in college.  I changed one rock n'roll life style for another.

But maybe perturbations between Myself and the places I inhabit are shrinking.  Two sine waves not in union produce a tempo with their disunion.  This was the push beat of my life this last decade.

And it isn't going away anytime soon...

...but it's reducing in intensity.  It's so easy to understand, so impossible to practice.

It's sounds so easy to stop when it hurts so bad.  But I'll have to be ridiculously fit before I get near stopping.  It's time to go home, when you arrive, I guess.