1) Denial and Isolation
I haven't blogged in days. It's a fact, check the dates on my posts.
Why? I've isolated myself from having to admit to the truth. It's easy to deny. It was just a slightly sore hip after a 21 mile run with some tempo at the end. A slight tweak in the wrong direction. It was nothing. It will be gone tomorrow. It's nothing ice can't fix.
Ok, two days of pain. No big deal. I'll go get some massage and ART therapy. Fix it up in a jiffy no big deal.
There is no injury here. Not after 8 months of hard ass training.
What the fuck? You stupid fool! The last long run and you blow it. You felt a little pinch at mile 19 and you should have stopped! When in doubt leave it out, right? You know this but you didn't listen. You thought you were invincible.
There goes my whole season. There goes all I worked for! I hate myself for blowing it after everyone was so supportive. Only an idiot would injure his hip this close to a race!
I will never push it that hard this close to an Ironman again. I will go to church on Sunday if I wake up without the pain in my hip. I will dedicate my race to Sister Theresa if I show up injury free to Kentucky. I will skip my run workouts this week and everything will be ok. It's only fair, right?
What's the point of even trying? I blew it. I'm a failure. I've let everyone one of my sponsors and supporters down. I invested everything I had in this year and my big race I'm going to be a limping fool 2 miles into the run. This is a sport for athletes, not screw ups like me.
Almost every elite athlete will battle an injury. Not only that, he or she will battle it at the worst time possible. There is no good time!
It happened. I learned from it. I am doing EVERYTHING I can to fix the problem. Lots of rest. Lots of ice. Lots of ART therapy. Lots of happy, healing Buddha thoughts.
People in this world have come over much harder odds than me. I'm really very fortunate just for the opportunity to toe the starting line and I'm going to give it my best regardless if I'm 100%.
This is the moment that tests one's mettle. So I might have to taper a bit harder than was planned. Adaptability is the great athlete's trademark.
This race is going on, injured hip or not. Good or bad, I'm in it. Life goes on. This is just a part of the adventure.